Don't Wake Me Up Just Yet

Because I am going to have the most wonderful Mets dream right now. No, I'm not going to dream about Zambrano pitching no-hitters and Minky going on an A-Rod-like home run tear. I'm going to be slightly (but only slightly) more realistic than that.

In my dream, the Mets make some tough but necessary decisions about the future of the team. In my dream, they deal Mike Piazza before his contract is up, so that they can maybe get something for him. Given his lackluster season so far, I don't know what, exactly, but there's got to be an AL team out there that needs a veteran catcher who can be a backup, or a DH, whatever. (ahem, hello Mr. Bavasi?) Anyway.

In my dreamworld, the Mets do what they have to to pick up Jarrod Washburn (RHP) and AJ Burnett (LHP). And maybe we even manage to pick up Billy Wagner. I know, a lot of people like Braden Looper. I'm not a fan. Sorry, I just don't trust the guy.

On that note, I am willing to deal Looper, Cairo, Cameron, Piazza, and even Jae Seo. And if there's a chance we could get Todd Helton, I'd let go of Minky too. I love that man, but I love winning MORE. I'd also be happy to just lose Zambrano, Glavine, Koo, and Aybar.

My dreamy rotation would look something like this: Martinez, Washburn, Burnett, Benson, Trachsel/Heilman. I'd hang on to Bell, Hernandez, and maybe even DeJean, and try to pick up another middle reliever.

My outfield would be Floyd-Beltran-Diaz (Woodward); infield would be Wright, Reyes, Matsui (yeah, I'm still hanging on to hope there - but we do still have Keppinger just in case), and Helton or Minky. At catcher, I'd be happy with Ramon Hernandez or Bengie Molina - they're both free agents after this season.

Yeah, I'm dreaming. But one advantage of being a Mets fan is the team's deep pockets and willingness to spend money in order to win. I think Omar proved that during the offseason.

I'd been reticent about posting something like this, because I know I'll probably change my mind about who I think we should keep/trade/sign a hundred times by the end of the week. So that's why it's just a dream. I'll have another one tomorrow.

Holy Crap!

-- to quote Frank Barone. I didn't watch the game because it wasn't available where I live, so when I came home from a lovely dinner to see the score, I was shocked. All the stuff I was grousing about yesterday... well, I will just shut my mouth. The New York Mets just won three in a row from the Florida Marlins, beating the virtually unbeatable Dontrelle Willis. Every Met in the lineup had a hit, even Ishii (who allowed only one run in six and two thirds innings, thank you very much!). And Mike Piazza, the man I'd just admitted to losing hope in, well he went three for four with two doubles, a walk and three RBIs. Damn. LETS GO METS, BABY!

Mets Take First Two of Four From Fish

Some observations on the series so far:

Ok, I'm glad we took these first two games, because I think of all four, these first two matchups of Benson/Castillo & Martinez/Moehler were much stronger for us than the last two will likely be (Ishii/Willis, Glavine/Beckett). So at the very worst, we've split the series. At best, we may have a shot against Beckett Sunday. But I'm not holding my breath.

Don't even get me started on Willis. I don't think MLB Extra Innings is showing the game tomorrow, which is ok by me. I'd prefer a less painful way to spend my Memorial Day Saturday anyway.

What's really been bugging me lately though is seeing Piazza batting ahead of Wright. There's no reason for one of our hottest hitters to be batting sixth. The number of runners that Piazza has left stranded, especially in scoring position, is starting to make me sick. I keep waiting for him to snap out of it, but I noticed tonight that I've officially lost hope. When Mike came up in the 4th with two outs and Cliffy on second, I immediately thought: well, this rally is over. Next pitch he grounded out, and I was not surprised. Which sucks.

As for the Cameron/Reyes lineup swap that's been discussed in the blogworld and by Willie himself: I think it's a good idea. Jose is just too impatient, and too streaky. Plus, Matt over at Metsblog lists some hitting stats for Cammy that would suggest he'd be great in the leadoff spot, at least for now.

As usual, a stellar pitching performance by Pedro, and I'm glad to see him get the win.

Be Cool

It's frustrating. You can't even blame this loss entirely on Victor Zambrano. The weasel greased himself into another start I'm sure, even after making a throwing error and screwing up a sac bunt attempt. The problem is, he's not the only problem. He's not the only one stranding runners and making throwing errors. He's certainly not the one striking out eight times in the last seven days. The Mets seem to be having a teamwide meltdown, and something has to be done to stop it. I, as always, have a suggestion.

We have at least one thing going for us this Thursday in Florida: Kris Benson, who seems to be every inch the stud the Mets front office made him out to be last year. It is my hope his confidence on the mound will seep into the psyches of the rest of the guys on the field, and in the dugout.

I think the lesson our guys could learn from Kris is to stay cool. Throwing errors happen, balls get booted, overanxious batters swing wildly at bad pitches, or at first pitches in crucial late game situations with the bases loaded, grounding into rally-killing inning-ending double plays when just a little patience working the count might be the right approach (YES I AM TALKING TO YOU JOSE REYES). Patience does not neuter aggresion; it merely directs it.

The bottom line here boys is that you've all gotten yourselves overly amped up, and when that happens, you lose the mental game. And when you lose the mental game, everything turns to crap.

As the great Stephen Sondheim once wrote:

Boy, boy, crazy boy,
Get cool, boy!
Got a rocket in your pocket,
Keep coolly cool, boy!
Don't get hot,
'Cause man, you got
Some high times ahead.

Now, take a deep breath, and exhale the memory of the last seven days from your minds, and go play the game you love.

Clock Ticks On Vic

I'm still not sure if I'm going to watch the game tonight. I was thinking about maybe gouging my eyes out with a red hot poker, or perhaps trying to glean some joy from watching my wife watch her Yankees beat the crap out Detroit for the second night in a row. The prospect of watching Zambrano pitch again sounds about as good as any of the others I mentioned, if only slightly more painful.

There are a few things that should be decided tonight, the most important of which is the fate of Victor Zambrano. If he gets shelled tonight, can we PLEASE bring back Jae Seo? Even if our boys manage to get 'em on, get 'em over, AND get 'em in?

I'm going to hold off on any more ranting for now. We'll see what happens. Believe it or not, I really do want VZ to do well. I am only too happy to admit "my bad" should our team pitch and hit its way to a victory tonight. God knows we need it.

(Untitled Post)

A Letter To Doug Mientkiewicz

Dear Doug:

I know things have been very rough for you here in New York. But I want to let you know that there are many fans out there who still believe in you, and know that you will come out of this slump.

You seem like the kind of guy who wears his heart and emotions on his sleeve. Whatever happens to be in your head at any given time comes right out of your mouth. So it's understandable that after the game last night, you were really hard on yourself.

Doug, you don't suck. You know that. We know that. Getting down on yourself like you do is not going to help you out of that slump. All it does is reinforce the negative, and before you know it you've become a self-fulfilling prophecy of suck.

The Mets need your glove right now a lot more than your bat. Just keep making those incredible plays at first. As for your bat, I think you need to reach out. When I have a huge problem, I talk to everybody whose opinion matters to me about what to do. Don't be proud. As an aside, have you talked to Keith Hernandez? I bet he might be able to see something askew in your mechanics. You also might want to try some way of centering yourself before a game. Meditation, or yoga.

Hang in there, Doug. No matter how many insensitive idiots there are screaming "you suck" in your face, there are a whole lot more cheering for you in the stands and at home.

Sincerely,
Gail Carelli

The Good & The Bad. But Mostly the Bad.

The Mets drop the first of a three game series in Atlanta.

The good thing is, we never gave up trying to win that game. The bad thing is, we also never game up shooting ourselves in the foot in an all out effort to lose that game. Which obviously, we did. Also in the bad column: we're 20-46 at Turner Field.

Another bad thing is that Kaz Ishii is stinking far more than pitching well. There is simply no excuse for walking the pitcher with the bases loaded. All he had to do is throw a freaking strike, and he couldn't manage that. Disgraceful.

Another good thing is, Manny Aybar actually looked pretty decent, allowing only one walk with 3 strikeouts in two innings. The bad thing is, the infield behind him did not look so good. Wright and Reyes really need to get the errors under control.

Finally, and for me this was the worst thing: one of my favorite ballplayers of all time apparently idolizes The Big Fat Idiot. Fran and Ted, thank you very much for letting me in on that. You both suck.

Mets Tie Series With Yanks. I Do A Happy Dance.

Some observations about today's game:

We looked marvelous, we really did. Kris Benson has this whole cool swagger thing going that I just love. I wonder if that's just the kind of guy he is, or if Pedro and Tom are rubbing off on him. He just never seems to get rattled. And he's a darn decent hitter too.

Glad to see Mike getting his stroke back. And it looks to me like David Wright is really starting to get en fuego.

I've never laughed so hard during a ballgame as I did in the 7th inning, starting with Koo's double to deep center, interrupting Tim McCarver in mid-sentence who was just "going out on a limb" to say something derogatory about our Korean slugger. I continued laughing when Koo dove head first into home and was called safe. Priceless.

I learned a few things too. I think I'd like to keep Koo around for awhile. He's a gamer. Who knew that? I also learned that he may be the only Met capable of making David Wright squeal like a girl.

Now, I need to pop on over to Metsblog to see if Matt has any news about Matsui and Beltran, both of whom left the game with pulled something-or-others.

Mets Sweep Reds

I can't say too much about the game because it was blacked out where I live, so I didn't actually see it. Instead, I listened to the game on WFAN over the Internet. It's just not the same though. Anyway, it looks like the Glavine of old is here to stay. Two runs on nine hits - not bad at all. With the help of the men behind him, he also managed to pitch out of a few jams.

Mets bats were hot too: Piazza went four for four, and the team added three home runs to their league leading total of 51. The only downside: Manny Aybar. I think it's time to say bye bye Aybar. His horrendous performance today should make it easier on the Mets in terms of what to do with Strickland, although I feel like I'm the only person who is still ranting about bringing Jae Seo back.

On Friday we'll likely be treated to quite a game, as the Mets open up the season's first subway series against the Yankees. Victor Zambrano goes up against Kevin Brown for what should be an intense pitcher's duel. NOT.

Turning Japanese, I Think I'm Turning Japanese

I really think so. It's good to see Kaz Ishii back from the DL, looking healthy, and pitching well. He gave up just one run on three hits through six and a third innings, with two walks and two strikeouts. He threw a total of 96 pitches, 53 of which were strikes. All in all, a quality start.

I am also calling a halt to all hostilities aimed at Kaz Matsui. He had a great game last night, and another one tonight, hitting what turned out to be the game winning home run in the bottom of the 7th. It seems that switching him from the number two slot to number eight in the order has done him, and the Mets lineup in general, a world of good.

And A Bow To You Too, Mr. Koo

Some observations regarding tonight's game

Kris Benson looked terrific. Almost eight full innings, 112 pitches, two runs on only four hits, and overall excellent command. He even had a nice line drive for a hit in his first at bat. Welcome to Shea, Kris. Enjoy your stay in the rotation here at Sterling Mets.

I must say, after the embarrassment we suffered in Cinci earlier this year, it was nice to see the Mets dishing out a little payback. It was the kind of night where everyone contributed. Even Kaz, who went two for three and looked pretty sharp at second.

The Mets combined for 13 hits in all. Literally, the only person on the team without a hit was Koo, who looked about as lost as my grandmother up at the plate. Seriously, could someone show him how to at least look like he might try to swing? Listening to the Reds broadcasters, I think watching Koo at bat was the highlight of the game for them. A direct quote: "That was great!." I guess after a game like that, they have to take their fun where they can get it.

I especially enjoyed watching Koo bow to all the Mets players during the post game "high five" line, and watching the players bow back.

On a more serious note, my doubts about Koo remain. Putting him into a situation with zero pressure and having him perform well is nice. It's when he comes in to a tight situation and performs well - that's going to go a long way toward earning the trust and respect of Mets fans.

It looks like Zambrano gets the start tomorrow. The upside? Ortiz is pitching for the Reds. At least it makes the Mets' game plan simple: Score lots and lots of runs.

Weighing in on the Mets Roster Choices

Matt Cerrone over at Metsblog has a pretty good thread about the Mets roster going on, so I'm not going to reinvent the wheel here. I'm just going to add my two cents. I'd like to see the Mets hang on to Strickland. He might not be ready, but I'd still rather take my chances with him in the bullpen over Manny Aybar. I also think it's time to send Zambrano down to Norfolk. Just because you overpaid for a guy doesn't mean you keep him in the rotation if he can't get his control issues worked out. I'd also send Diaz down for now, to make room for another pitcher. We have Cameron, and he's doing a great job. We also have Valent as a spare outfielder, and Woodward can play out there if we need him to.

I know I've said this before, but we need Seo back in the rotation. Sending a guy who has pitched well for you down to the minors is a slap in the face. On the other hand, I'm not sure I understand why turning a starter into a reliever or closer is considered a demotion. I think that's just underestimating the importance of relievers, especially on a team where most of the starting rotation can't seem to get through seven innings. Having said that, I don't mind at all if Aaron Heilman goes to the bullpen. He'd be great in relief, or even as a sometime closer.

So, my ideal would be this: Martinez, Glavine, Benson, Seo, Ishii in the starting rotation. Heilman, Bell, Strickland, Hernandez, DeJean, Ring, and Looper in the bullpen. Yes, that's twelve pitchers. Hey, if the Braves can do it, why can't we?

Nothing Much To Say

I couldn't watch the game today, because it wasn't on MLB Extra Innings. I don't know why. I guess it's because, on a weekend, people really want to take advantage of having the day off and really enjoy a baseball game. So they try to show as few games as possible. Maybe it's their way of trying to get us out of the house. Anyway, from what I just read on Mets.com, seems like it wasn't any great loss. For those of us who couldn't watch the game, I mean.

Tom Was Pretty Much Terrific

Tom Glavine should be enjoying a well-earned reprieve from fan abuse for awhile - at least until his next start. After tonight, I'm definitely going to get off his back. As for Kaz Matsui...well, I just feel bad for the guy. I think everyone's ire will be focused pretty intensely on him now, especially after tonight's eighth inning meltdown. Tom was pitching a masterful game, and looked to be on track to complete eight shutout innings when Matsui bobbled an easy double-play ball that left the Cards with two on and no one out. Roberto Hernandez came in and saved the day, getting out of the inning with Glavine's lead intact. Looper finished the game looking very impressive, despite giving up a hit to Albert Pujols.

I hope this game gives Tom his confidence back. It's definitely given this fan some confidence back in Tom. I also thought it was very classy of Tom to offer support to Kaz as he left the mound. Hopefully Kaz will be inspired by Tom's refusal to give up, and amazing ability to not lose faith in himself when things get rough.

Oh yeah, and Cliff Floyd launched two monstrous home runs into the scoreboard, which accounted for both Met runs. All in all, tonight was a great pitcher's duel. Tomorrow should be another one when Pedro takes the mound against Mark Mulder. I wish I could be there!

Mets Free Agent Booms

SI.com has an article on the top ten free agent booms and busts of 2005. What's notable is that the Mets are not represented in the busts, and have two of the top ten booms (Martinez and Beltran). Yay for the Mets! Now Omar, can we talk about Glavine...?

Oh, almost forgot. Armando Benitez reps the Giants in the bust category because an injury has kept him sidelined all season. The Giants really should look on the bright side. If he were well, he might actually be blowing playoff games come September. Eh, who am I kidding? The Giants won't be anywhere near the playoffs come September.

Greg Maddux Owns the Mets

Oh, how I loathe him.

Facing Kaz Matsui, Kaz managed to lay off two of Maddux's absolutely impossible-to- hit changeups in the dirt. He was actually patient enough to work the count to 3-0. But my fear that he would strike out anyway wasn't necessarily due to a lack of faith in Kaz. It's Maddux. He knew at 3-0 Kaz would take all the way. So he threw a perfect strike. Then he threw another one, just outside enough to be beyond Kaz's reach, but still over the plate. 3-2, most pitchers would throw a strike, or at least try to throw something somewhere in the vicinity of the plate. But the thing about Maddux is, when he's on, he's practically omniscient. It doesn't take a brain surgeon to know that if you throw a wicked sinking nasty changeup inside and in the dirt, Matsui is going to swing at it nine times out of ten. But to do it at full count?

I imagine Maddux stands there on the mound and predicts inside his own head exactly what is going to happen on every pitch. And most of the time, he's probably exactly right. Oh, how I loathe him. And how I wish he was on our team.

Where'd He Get That Hat?

Does anyone know where David Wright got that neat blue Mets cap with the orange bill? You know, the one he's wearing while being interviewed about how great it is to play ball for the Mets, and if he had it his way he'd be manning third base at Shea for a long long time? I can't find that cap anywhere. I have a pretty extensive collection of Mets caps (though most of the time I'm wearing my old school 80's blue cap) but I don't have that one, and I want it. So anyone who knows where to get it, please email me. Thanks!

My Shameless Ode to Doug Mientkiewicz

How do I love thee, Dougie?

Counting the ways, I love:

1. The way you wear your uniform
2. The way you never seem to stop talking
3. The way you always seem to have hat head
4. The way you pick bad throws from David Wright out of the dirt
5. The way you hit in the clutch (most of the time)
6. The way you pack Red Man into your cheek like a little hamster
7. The way you charge up your teammates in the dugout
8. The way you withheld that "last out" ball from the Red Sox
9. The way your last name is impossible to spell without looking up
10. The way you play the game

Yeah, I know I'll probably get shot for this, but I can't help it. I just love the guy.

WHY WILLIE WHY!?!?!

Why take Aaron Heilman out of the game with two men on in the bottom of the sixth for Dae-Sung Koo? Why, Willie, WHY? Aaron was pitching masterfully. You know, the bullpen is the Mets' achilles heel. It'll be the death of us. Let's hope we can get those bats going, get back the lead, and let Hernandez finish out the game. He's about the only guy in that pen I trust to do it.

Baseball Tonight Funny

What, five minutes later I have the will to write again? Only to report a very funny comment I just heard on Baseball Tonight. During Web Gems, as Boomer describes an excellent diving play at short by Marco Scutaro, Harold Reynolds sort of mutters under his breath: "Another reason why Steve Phillips is working with us."

Classic. The only way that could have been funnier in a very not so funny way, is if the Web Gem were of Melvin Mora.

11 Hits / 6 Innings + 4 Runs = Suck

I can't write anything today. I am sitting shiva for Tom Glavine.

I Believe

Sometimes I think we're the Felix and Oscar of baseball fans, Mary and I. She is a diehard Yankee fan, and I a Met fan. She grew up in Columbus, Ohio, following many of today's Yankee stars when they played in the minors for the Columbus Clippers. I grew up in NJ, raised by two Brooklynites who taught me to hate the Yankees as much as I love the Mets. They also taught me the meaning of loyalty and I, like Met fans everywhere, endured one losing season after another until the 1986 Amazins.

Yankee fans will never understand that kind of joy. And now, as the Yankees struggle, she rants and raves right along with Steinbrenner about how there's no excuse for such poor play from men who are paid so well. She marvels at how OK I am with the Mets playing .500 ball. It's because I'm used to struggles like this. I've lived with them all of my life. She's watched the Yankees go to the World Series six times since '95. I hold on to my precious memories of 1986, and try to forget the fall of 2000 and the name Benitez.

This year, I see a big difference between the Mets and the Yankees. Now as I watch the Yankees struggle, I notice something missing in that dugout. Yes, I know that I cannot possibly know what's going on in there, but those guys just don't look happy to me. I'm not seeing any chemistry. I'm just seeing a lot of very talented, well-paid men clocking in, trying to do their jobs, and clocking out.

The Mets dugout is entirely another story. I can't help but smile as I think back to jokesters like Dykstra, Backman, and Roger "Second Spitter" McDowell wearing their hats inside out and giving each other hotfoots. It warmed my heart to watch Pedro jumping up and down on the mound after a great catch by Cliff Floyd. Who didn't laugh watching our boys in the 8th inning the other night, clowning around in the dugout, ribbing Jose Reyes for almost walking for the first time this season? It was clear that Mets fans and players alike were thoroughly enjoying themselves: fans chanted "walk! walk! walk!" as Doug Mientkiewicz smiled and "shushed" his fellow players in the dugout. Alas poor Jose swung at ball four and grounded out, but after a four hit game, no one was complaining. Reyes has since gotten that monkey off his back, drawing his first walk with the bases loaded.

The Mets, with the possible exception of Tom Glavine, are having fun and that's the difference. I watch these New Mets play, and it gives me goosebumps. Will they go to the playoffs this year? They not only have the talent to do it, but they have that little something extra called chemistry. So while the Yankees make changes, and their fans and Steinbrenner rant, I'll be watching my Mets and wearing my hat inside out. Ya gotta believe. I do. I do.

Yay - We Won

Mike was in the lineup tonight, so I guess we can put the whole "will Mike ever catch for Pedro" controversy to rest. It seems that all the talk over it was greatly amusing to Willie, who made a joke about not announcing the lineup because he wanted to keep everyone in suspense. Anyway, Pedro struck out eleven batters, and basically looked awesome. Carlos had two dingers, and for anyone who heard the Milwaukee broadcast, he hit the first one right after the announcers were discussing his poor performance at Miller Park so far. Just as one of them says "You can't keep a guy like Beltran down for long," Carlos parked a fastball into the right field bleachers. It was classic. I also enjoyed watching Cliff give a cracked bat to a little Met fan wearing a "vote for Pedro" t-shirt. But the best of all was the bullpen. DeJean and Hernandez combined for two shutout innings. Sweet.

I think the only guy in the Mets dugout feeling not at all relaxed right now is Tom Glavine. I kind of feel bad for the guy.

Miller Park: Mikey Likes It!

The Mets Take Game One From the Brewers and a Very Whiny Jeff Jenkins

I was not suprised to see Mike Cameron continuing to look relaxed at the plate, going two for four. I was not suprised that Doug Mientkiewicz was once again stellar at first, despite his continuing troubles with both the bat and his hair.

I was suprised to see Victor Zambrano pitch a decent game, and help himself out with two hits in the process.

Other highlights: David Wright had a home run, and Jose Reyes collected his third walk of the season. And of course, there was Mike Piazza, player of the game. Mike airmailed two homers into the depths of Miller Park in his first two at bats. This of course begs the question: will he play tomorrow? He's swinging a hot bat. But Pedro is pitching so I guess we'll have to wait and see.

Lowlights: Brewer Jeff Jenkins constantly whined at the ump over his strike zone. I kept waiting for him to get booted, but no such luck. Cliff Floyd's 20 game hitting streak ended. And of course, the bullpen was at it again. Although 7-4 sounds like a handy win, it certainly felt a lot closer to Met fans watching the game. The bullpen loaded the bases in the bottom of the ninth, and aggravated my ulcer in the process. I think Looper got a save out of the deal, though I just don't think it's fair for him to get a save when he's saving the game from his own bullpen. I will give Heath Bell credit for three very good innings of relief. I think leaving him in there for the fourth was stretching his arm a little too much.

All in all, it was a very Mets-like win. I'll take it.

Dang! No Fran Healy Tonight!

As thankful as I am that I get to actually watch the Mets play, unfortunately MLB Extra Innings on Directv is picking up the Milwaukee broadcast tonight. So no Fran Healy joy for me. If anyone out there is actually getting the game on MSG tonight, please do a Fran report for me, ok?

Play ball!

Will Mike Play Saturday?

Well, I know I'm jumping the gun with this post, but here goes: The Brewers welcome the Mets tomorrow at Miller Park in game one of a three-game series. And it looks like Mike Piazza has finally hit his way out of that slump, slugging a three run (hear that Fran? - THREE RUN) homer at Shea to go along with his three other hits against the Phils in that same game. The interesting thing is, Pedro is scheduled to pitch game two of the series on Saturday night. So the question on everybody's mind is, What Will Willie Will ...uhm, do? Will he let Mike catch for Pedro? He's hitting like the Mike we all know and love. He also happens to love Milwaukee, and is hitting .359 at Miller Park to prove just how much.

If Mike sits while Pedro pitches, that'll just be strange. Strange because of everything I just mentioned. But also strange because Willie says he likes to give Mike a day off every five days, and it just so happens that day five always (at least until now) coincides with Pedro's turn in the rotation. Only now, because of the return of Kris Benson, Pedro will be pitching on four days rest. I don't know how Rick Peterson is going to get around that.

If Mike does end up sitting on the bench on Saturday, then I hope we don't hear some lame excuse again like "he's banged up" or "he needs the rest." Just admit Pedro prefers to pitch to Ramon Castro.

Fran Healy Quote of the Day #2

It's a high drive to left field...
did he get enough...
to the wall...
GRAND SLAM PIAZZA!!!!
(pause)
I got giddy. I got giddy. Three-run homer Piazza.

Mets Win; My Bullpen Ulcer Gets Worse

The Mets bullpen (not including Aaron Heilman, who pitched three stellar innings in relief of Kris Benson) once again made a not so close game, a close game. Mike DeJean took the mound in the 9th and promptly gave up a three-run homer to Jimmy Rollins. Braden Looper then took over and got the final out. But not before making the stomache ulcer I've nicknamed "Armando" much worse. Anyway, we won 7-5. I guess that's all that matters. Now, where's my Pepto?

John Rocker: Still A Jackass

John Rocker still hasn't learned to play nice with others. Rocker is now pitching for the minor league Long Island Ducks. Apparently, as he left the field after giving up two runs, two hits, and two walks in one third of an inning, Atlantic City Surf fan Dave Macken yelled, "It's a long way from Atlanta."

According to Macken, Rocker replied, "I'm still a millionaire and you're a piece of [expletive]."

Said Rocker, in his own defense: "Call me what you want, but don't start cussing at me like that, that's just wrong." Interesting choice of words. "It's a long way from Atlanta" ... is that some sort of southern curse we northern types aren't aware of? Because I'm sure Mr. Macken wasn't aware he was cursing at Rocker when he said that. The only other explanation I can think of is that Rocker is still an immature idiot whose now subpar pitching ability has done nothing to humble him.

Some people never change.

Tom, Have You Thought About Closing?

It worked for your buddy Smoltz. Maybe it's time to think about pitching one really good inning rather than trying to get through seven crappy ones. Let's face it, Braden Looper is the second coming of Armando Benitez. There's only so much you can do with a 90 mph fastball right down the center of the plate. This is the big leagues, and as we've already seen, big league hitters launch those pitches into the scoreboard.

I really hate to see Jao Seo go down to Norfolk. More than that, I really hate to see you getting shelled start after start. So maybe it's time to rethink your role here, Tom. What have you got to lose? (ok, don't answer that.....)

Two Really Important Questions

First: How do I get Matt Loughlin's job?

Second: Why does Keith always leave the game after the sixth inning? This is killing me. It's always Ted and Fran in the 7th, 8th, and 9th. Never Keith. Why, Keith, why? Is it the traffic? Are you just trying to get home early? Will they just not pay you for more than six innings? Is it past your bedtime? Please, I have to know. Can anyone help me here? Anyone? Bueller?

Fran Healy's Quote of the Day

Fran Healy, after witnessing a great catch in left field by Cliff Floyd that robbed Jason Michaels of a home run in the 7th inning: "All he's missing now is a cape." Well done, Fran. Cliffy is indeed en fuego. He'll get my All Star ballot vote! ---sharp intake of breath---- you mean you DON'T vote for ALL OF THE METS?!